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Why own an assault rifle?

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The first gun I bought was a sub-compact Glock. I had just gone through the class to get my Texas concealed handgun license, and I wanted something that I could keep easily hidden. A gun to me is like a fire extinguisher. No, I don't think my house is going to catch on fire, but I still have something just in case. My gun is the same way. I have no reason to believe that I am in danger today, but I have something in my pocket just in case.
Well, three months after I got my CHL, I was robbed on my front porch at 10pm as I was getting home from work. A punk kid drove between me and the front door of my apartment, blocking my way as his passenger got out, put a gun in my face and demanded that I empty my pockets. I obeyed. I handed over my cell phone, wallet, keys and $4 in cash. If he would have left then, neither he nor his driver would have ever known that I was carrying. Unfortunately, this entitled punk held my wallet up to me and said "I ain't playing, where's your ___ money?" I realized that this was more than a simple mugging. This kid believed that I was holding out on him, and that I had no ability to manifest the cash this kid was asking for.
I drew my handgun, and in the process of me presenting my firearm, he ran away. I didn't take a shot because first, I had no desire to take a human life and second, he ran away when he realized that this would have to be a fair fight. Taking a shot, regardless of legality now had the ethical implications of collateral damage because he was running toward my neighbors' apartments.
His driver started to get out of his car, and I turned the gun to him. His hands went up and he started crying, exclaiming "I ain't got ___ on me!" repeatedly. My failure to comprehend the laws at the time had me thinking that I probably shouldn't have a hostage, so I told him to leave, and he did, for a while.
I ran toward the nearest place with a pay phone to call the police, but on the way, I had to stop because the driver was sweeping the streets, looking for me. I had to hide in bushes and behind neighbors' apartments for half an hour as I was literally being hunted. Mind you, these kids were too young to possess handguns. As he would circle at the end of the street, I would bang on windows and doors, trying to get someone to call the police. Eventually, I was able to get back to my apartment where a neighbor let me call the police. They took another 45 minutes to get there. By that time, all of my credit cards were cancelled and the locks on my apartment were already changed.
The fact that these kids were out past curfew, that they possessed handguns, that they were committing a felony in robbing me told me one thing: Laws don't work. These miscreants are the product of a failing culture that glorifies violence and a quick buck. I also learned that night that a police department is not there to prevent crime, but rather to deter it and, had I not been armed, to investigate my death.
When your life is threatened like that, your life changes forever. You never sleep right again, you are overwhelmed with feelings of "What if?" that five years later still get to me on a daily basis. I brought the 12-gauge out of the safe and propped it up beside the bed. I carried spare magazines with me just to go to work.
I was stripped of the luxury of theory. I now know that a gun in my hands is a good thing. I bought more guns because I enjoy shooting.
I have a few of the fun, ugly rifles that some people like to call "assault" weapons. I challenge everybody to look up what constitutes an "Assault" weapon under the 1994 Clinton ban. I challenge you to look at these classifications and apply them to tragedies such as the Sandy Hook murders. Take the adjustable stock, the vertical grip behind the trigger (Pistol grip), the lug at the end of the barrel that could attach a bayonet, a piece of metal at the end of the barrel that would suppress the flash (not the sound) from the gun. Next, force a 2-10-second reloading break every ten rounds by removing the high-capacity magazines. How many elementary kids would have been saved? I'm all for measures to prevent this horror in the future, but this is not the way. Again, this is merely an attack on ugly guns, not more deadly ones.
Remember that he had two handguns, but was under 21. Clearly laws didn't apply to this individual.
I also challenge you to price AK47s in places where they are illegal to own. I've heard the going rate in the "Uzi Triangle" of the west coast, they are around $100. I've heard 50-100 quid in Northern Ireland, and I've heard $15 in Somalia. Mine cost $499.99, legally, in Texas. What do you think will happen to that price if they go underground? We have some great examples already.
I own guns because I am still alive, and I owe that to my gun. I own ugly guns for hog hunting, fun, and because bad people also own ugly guns.

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