In today’s fast paced environment of social media madness, there is a form of communication that still excels in getting your message across to someone. It’s called conversation.
Most people find it awkward and difficult to strike up or initiate a conversation with people they don’t know, let alone people they do know. At least with people you know, you have some similarity or topic to discuss such as people at work you know, some job you share in common, etc. With strangers or people you do not associate with at work, this becomes more complex for most.
Oddly enough, people are just people. Everyone has a story to tell of one kind or another. Getting them to initiate their story is half the battle won.
When it comes to customers, the best marketing and sales people out there always focus on what is of interest to the buyer, not necessarily the product or service they are reviewing. This arms you with incredible opportunity to really get to know the customer and what they truly need or desire.
You may discover, for instance, that what they are seeking is totally different than what they are looking at or reviewing. This becomes an opportunity to help guide them to the right selection or offer more choices to select within their area of interest, budget, requirements, etc.
Breaking the ice, or starting the conversation, is the big challenge for most people. In a business situation, you have to get the feel of the room and the audience to get a temperature on whether these are people you wish to engage in a conversation anyway. This will help gage whether or not you would attend this, or a similar event, in the future.
When immersed in an event of like minded people, it always helps to be prepared with a few opening remarks that will allow you to talk with people you do not know comfortably. This will help to take the “edge” off of walking up to a total stranger and starting a conversation.
Here are a few examples that may help you get the conversation started:
“Hi my name is ____.” Then extend your greeting with a handshake. Believe it or not this will break the ice faster than you can imagine. Typically they will state their name and you can get a reading on whether they are friendly, worthy of your time, and then carry on the dialogue.
“So what brings you here to this event or to our store, my restaurant, etc?” This is always a great follow up after the friendly hello greeting. Be prepared for some interesting feedback. You may be surprised as to what people have to say.
From here it is merely a matter of interest or lack thereof. This is the point where you are also seeking some open dialogue from the people you have engaged. If there is still an appearance of lack of interest with the people you have just tried to connect, you may have to kick it up a level or two if you want to keep their focus on you.
This is where most people begin to shut down and quietly excuse themselves, fake a phone call or just walk away. This is where it’s time to get a bit more into something personal or professional in the conversation.
Following are a few follow-on conversation tidbits that may be of help:
“Tell me more about what you do for a living, your business, etc.”
“How do you see this event, gathering, product or service enhancing your life, career, business, etc?”
“On a scale of 1 to 10, how do rate this event, gathering, product, service, etc?” “Why?”
“If you could be anywhere else right now, where would that be and what would you be doing?” You may not always get a pleasant response, but it will definitely help you gage their interest in continuing any conversation with you. Be prepared to answer the same questions you ask!
There are literally thousands of conversation starters available on the internet. Find the dialogues that are most comfortable to you and practice them on your spouse, friends, children, pets, etc. The more you practice, the less rehearsed you will sound and the more confident you will become.
Remember, people are just people. You are not going to please everyone, so do not attempt to try. You may discover, however, that there is a world of opportunity out there waiting to hear from you.
Another thought to consider, everyone is competing on the stage of life. Those that go beyond cyberspace and can actually have a real conversation are probably going to enjoy what they do even more.
It’s a badge of honor or courage to represent who and what you truly are. No one can do that better than you!
“Don’t knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while”…Kin Hubbard
“The great gift of conversation lies less in displaying it ourselves than drawing it out of others. He who leaves your company pleased with himself and his own cleverness is perfectly well pleased with you” …Jean de la Bruyere
Author: John M. Freeborn
johnmfreeborn@gmail.com
www.linkedin.com/in/johnmfreeborn