The past two years of my life were pretty rough. In 2011, I unexpectedly lost my Mom due to complications from heart surgery. In 2012, my husband of less than 2 years walked out on me. In a year’s time, I lost the two people I loved most in this world. The lousy manner in which my ex left our marriage coupled with losing my Mom only one year prior sent me into fight or flight mode. I had a choice: sink or swim. And I chose to live.
I set out to improve the things about myself I disliked, particularly my dependence. Before mid-college, I had always been thought of as independent, but over the course of about 4 years I became weak and excessively reliant on those close to me.
When my husband left in 2012 I cancelled our previously planned trip to Florida; however, I shocked everyone by booking a vacation to Portland, OR that I took completely alone. Sufficed to say, it was one of the best experiences of my life.
Of course, this wonderful experience inspired me to travel alone yet again, this time to California to visit family I had not seen in over 17 years. In April 2013, I flew to Sacramento and shacked up with family in Vacaville. Although I stayed with family, I spent the majority of my trip exploring the area alone. I rented an SUV and drove to the Marin Headlands to see the Golden Gate Bridge from the best possible lookout. I then zipped over to the city and maneuvered the intimidating San Fran hills. I had an amazing breakfast at Mama’s, completely worth the hour wait in line standing by myself not playing on my cell phone so to save my battery. I then walked to the Coit Tower, followed by a walk around Fisherman’s Wharf, and ended my tour of San Fran with a night tour of Alcatraz. Unfortunately, my rental car was parked a few miles away and the taxi I called to drive me back never showed up. Being a young petite woman, alone in an unfamiliar city well after dark with a dead cell phone is quite the adrenaline-pumping experience! Luckily, I hunted down a taxi dropping someone off and asked for a ride back to my car. The next day I drove to Napa and toured the Castello di Amorosa winery, followed by a drive through the California hills out to the coast. What a view! I ended my day at Point Reyes National Seashore, the #1 place I wanted to visit while in California. There are no words to accurately describe the feeling of excitement that rushed through my body at first glimpse of the waves crashing against the cliffs. I’m pretty sure I squealed like a five year-old! Here I was driving along a rocky unpaved road on the edge of the ocean, not your typical sun tanning-type beach. The sheer enormity of the scene made me feel miniscule in comparison, but not in a bad way… not like I didn’t matter. But rather it inspired me, reminding me that despite my recent hardships there is beauty that can’t be measured still left in the world. I parked my car, grabbed my DSLR, and planned to walk to the lighthouse for what I hoped would be an amazing photo opp, but Mother Nature had other plans. At near 50 mph, the lighthouse was closed due to high winds. So I walked as far as I could and managed to take ONE photo, despite sand flying in my face and towards my beloved camera.
No other photo could better represent 2013. To me, it’s a symbol of my regained independence. I feel brave and powerful. I am no longer afraid, sad, or angry. But rather, in awe bursting with love and eagerness to tackle whatever life “blows” my way :)
I set out to improve the things about myself I disliked, particularly my dependence. Before mid-college, I had always been thought of as independent, but over the course of about 4 years I became weak and excessively reliant on those close to me.
When my husband left in 2012 I cancelled our previously planned trip to Florida; however, I shocked everyone by booking a vacation to Portland, OR that I took completely alone. Sufficed to say, it was one of the best experiences of my life.
Of course, this wonderful experience inspired me to travel alone yet again, this time to California to visit family I had not seen in over 17 years. In April 2013, I flew to Sacramento and shacked up with family in Vacaville. Although I stayed with family, I spent the majority of my trip exploring the area alone. I rented an SUV and drove to the Marin Headlands to see the Golden Gate Bridge from the best possible lookout. I then zipped over to the city and maneuvered the intimidating San Fran hills. I had an amazing breakfast at Mama’s, completely worth the hour wait in line standing by myself not playing on my cell phone so to save my battery. I then walked to the Coit Tower, followed by a walk around Fisherman’s Wharf, and ended my tour of San Fran with a night tour of Alcatraz. Unfortunately, my rental car was parked a few miles away and the taxi I called to drive me back never showed up. Being a young petite woman, alone in an unfamiliar city well after dark with a dead cell phone is quite the adrenaline-pumping experience! Luckily, I hunted down a taxi dropping someone off and asked for a ride back to my car. The next day I drove to Napa and toured the Castello di Amorosa winery, followed by a drive through the California hills out to the coast. What a view! I ended my day at Point Reyes National Seashore, the #1 place I wanted to visit while in California. There are no words to accurately describe the feeling of excitement that rushed through my body at first glimpse of the waves crashing against the cliffs. I’m pretty sure I squealed like a five year-old! Here I was driving along a rocky unpaved road on the edge of the ocean, not your typical sun tanning-type beach. The sheer enormity of the scene made me feel miniscule in comparison, but not in a bad way… not like I didn’t matter. But rather it inspired me, reminding me that despite my recent hardships there is beauty that can’t be measured still left in the world. I parked my car, grabbed my DSLR, and planned to walk to the lighthouse for what I hoped would be an amazing photo opp, but Mother Nature had other plans. At near 50 mph, the lighthouse was closed due to high winds. So I walked as far as I could and managed to take ONE photo, despite sand flying in my face and towards my beloved camera.
No other photo could better represent 2013. To me, it’s a symbol of my regained independence. I feel brave and powerful. I am no longer afraid, sad, or angry. But rather, in awe bursting with love and eagerness to tackle whatever life “blows” my way :)